Whether you are at a fancy establishment or the local tavern, there is a long list of things you shouldn't be doing if you want to follow proper etiquette. Unfortunately, many of these things go unspoken and restaurant staff end up finding themselves in unpleasant situations. While some of these things may not be the most stressful, they can certainly put a damper on the staff. Find out what things you might be doing wrong whenever you go out. If you found yourself doing some of these really annoying habits, it might be time to rethink the way you act at a restaurant, especially if you're a regular customer. You wouldn't want to have to deal with these people yourself, so try to put yourself in the shoes of the staff for a minute. They'll definitely appreciate the sentiment. And who knows? If you're their best customer, they might just treat you the next time you come in!
1. Not Tipping When Tipping Is Expected
Understandably, some countries don't expect tips, but many of them do. Don't assume that just because you're not in America you don't need to tip the waiter for their service.
Servers live off of their tips, so when they do their utmost to give you a good service, show them you're appreciation by leaving a tip. And if you're not sure whether it's the right thing to do, just ask if service is included.
2. Ignoring Your Crying Child
Children cry. We know this. It's inevitable, yet not unstoppable. In the public space of a restaurant, you can at least try to calm them down. After all, that's your kid.
No one is going to blame you if you can't get them to stop, but completely ignoring them is just rude to the other people around you. If you're trying to teach them a lesson, the least you can do is take them outside.
3. Expecting Service Minutes Before Closing
Look, everyone has those days, but it's not the staff's fault that you weren't able to get in earlier. If a restaurant is about to close, it's because they've been working all day long and need to get home too.
If you think you might be late for dinner, you can always order delivery. Or use Google to look up their business hours. Either way, please don't expect to have your 30-minute prep food ready for you if you order 5 minutes before closing.
4. Ordering Something Not On The Menu
Like what? This isn't the Starbuck's secret menu we're talking about. The reason there is a list of items you can choose from is that it's been carefully designed to be efficient and delicious. Sincerest apologies, however, for removing your favorite dish.
If you're really craving that one specific thing, then you should go somewhere that offers it. Otherwise, you might be able to remove that vegetable you dislike and maybe even replace it with something else.
5. Splitting The Check Between Too Many People
It's fine and totally acceptable to split the check between two, three, or even four people (though admittedly this is starting to push it). But when you have a large group of people well...
Let's just say you should probably bring cash or pay back one person. It gets really complicated trying to break down all the orders and keeping track of all the cards. At least you could let them know beforehand what you're planning.
6. Asking Your Server To Smile
Are you kidding? There is no way that you enjoy this yourself, and you have no idea what's going on in their mind. Regardless of their circumstances, they'll do their best to be nice. That doesn't equal a smile.
The best thing you can do in a situation like this is to bear with them. We're not excusing inappropriate behavior here, just telling you not to be inappropriate yourself.
7. Not Understanding That The Bar Is Full
As disappointing as it might be for your favorite seat to not be available, there are some things that just cannot be controlled. If you want a seat at the bar, you're going to have to wait for someone to leave.
Alternatively, you can always stand where there's some room for you. Just please, for the love of all things holy, don't steal someone's seat when they use the restroom. They probably waited their turn, too, and there doesn't need to be any unnecessary fighting.
8. Being Glued To Your Phone
In general, it isn't proper manners to be looking at your phone at the table. However, what you decide to do with your company is up to you. Just please respectfully put your phone away when your server comes over to take your order. They have other people who need service as well.
We live in a day and age where people have to stay connected to each and every little thing on the internet. Some of these things are important, but others, such as Instagram and YouTube are there for entertainment. It can probably wait until you get home.
9. Disrespectful Behavior
Nobody cares about your personal beliefs or whackjob ignorances. The fact is that we're all human beings and we all deserve to be treated as such.
If you're going to act racist, sexist, or generally prejudice, you belong back home cooking your own food. Ain't nobody got time for that.
10. Asking For Too Many Substitutions
There's a reason the food is built that way. Obviously, if you have allergies it's fine to ask, but that's not what we're talking about. We're talking about when you remove three ingredients and add two new ones.
Food is an art form, and the chefs are experienced in making the food the way it's supposed to be. If you want a build-your-own meal, there are places for that.
11. Helping Out Without Being Asked
Here's the situation: Your server comes over with a tray to grab all the dishes, but there's a lot to grab. You might think to start staking things up, but that's just a recipe for disaster. They've been doing this for a while and have an idea of how to balance their dishes.
Look, obviously the sentiment is really appreciated, but if your server doesn't ask you to help them--which they will if they need it--they've probably got a handle on the situation. So when you see them coming to take things away, just keep your hands down.
12. Complaining About How Long Your Food Takes When It's Packed
There's always the same amount of people working in the restaurant at a given time. They aren't hiring people the day it becomes full, so it stands to reason that it'll take longer when there are more orders.
That being said, you shouldn't be complaining about how long the food is taking when it's obviously full. And it isn't your server's job to get the food cooked either. Please be patient.
13. Making Yourself At Home
It's your birthday, or bachelor(ette) party, or whatever you're celebrating and you decide to go out to party, maybe start with some dinner. Well, all the people around you weren't invited and certainly didn't prepare themselves to be a part of the celebration.
If you start calling attention to yourself loudly and obnoxiously at a place that isn't designated for that, you're probably bothering everyone there. It's fun for a minute to sing happy birthday, but if you push it and force people to participate, you're not being courteous to those around you.
14. Asking For Your Food To-Go... Then Sitting Down
There's a reason you have to tell them whether or not it's to-go, and it's not just so that they package it properly. Some restaurants even have an extra charge for seating.
Even if they don't, you don't get to skimp out on leaving a tip by avoiding service. There are also people ready to pay the tip if you aren't and would like to sit down.
15. Being Impolite
If you don't like something or have an issue, you might want to go over and respectfully speak with the manager. You don't have to make a scene just because your soup is a little colder than you'd like.
If you're kind to the staff and respectfully address your concerns, they'll be happy to help you out with whatever you need. They might even add in some free dessert if they made an honest mistake. Or you could make a big stink about it. Just don't be surprised when you're asked to leave.
16. Wasting The Servers' Time
The servers are there to serve you your food and make sure everything is going well. They weren't hired to be your personal slave. If you keep making them run around for you, you're just going to make them upset and give you bad service.
If you need a bunch of things done, it's probably best to think about the more important things and ask if they can help you out all at once. Don't keep calling them over every time you have a question. Maybe write them all down and ask when you're ready.
17. Snapping Your Fingers At A Server
This is never acceptable. Your server is not a trained dog ready to come to you at every beck and call. If you need to get their attention, simple body language will suffice. After all, part of their job is noticing those who need help. So, if they didn’t notice you the first time, just be patient and try again.
After all, part of their job is noticing those who need help. So, if they didn’t notice you the first time, just be patient and try again.
18. Flirting With Your Server
This isn’t the bar. This isn’t the club. This isn’t a chance encounter with your soul mate. Well, probably not. The point is, these people are trying to do their job, and you trying to get their number is just wasting the precious time they need to help other people.
If you do want to leave a really good impression on them, maybe try giving them a compliment. Or even a bigger tip. As long as you aren't distracting them from their (probably demanding) job.
19. Being Too Touchy With Your Server
You might be the type of person to chuckle and pat the shoulder of your friend in an act of friendliness. The thing is, your server is not your friend (unless of course, they are, then this clearly doesn’t apply to you).
You don’t know them, they don’t know you, and there’s no excuse for getting touchy-feely with someone who might genuinely be averse to this sort of thing. Please keep your hands to yourself.
20. Not Being Considerate Of The Kitchen Staff
These are the people serving you your food. Someone has to, right? You might have heard that if you treat them poorly, they’ll spit in your food. Illegal, yes. Possible, yes. Will you know? No.
Do not mess with the people working hard to keep their community fed. It is rude, obnoxious, and just plain unacceptable. Even Gordon Ramsey respects his kitchen staff.
21. Mismanaging Your Time
If you want to order something you know is going to take time, TELL YOUR SERVER. They are not going to take responsibility for you not making it to wherever you’re going, and they certainly don’t care.
This is something you need to learn for everyday life, so please take into consideration what that means when you go out to eat. Otherwise, you’re just going to end up disappointed.
22. Not Accepting Where You're Being Sat
There is a lot that goes into organizing the restaurant and that includes where you’re going to be seated. This is to insure that the servers are able to more efficiently help the customers without too much trouble.
If you have a problem where you’re being sat, ask politely if a change is possible. Otherwise, you’re free to go somewhere else because the staff is not about to let you compromise their workspace.
23. Seating yourself Without Permission
If the last one wasn’t clear enough, we’ll say it again. There is rhyme and reason to the way the staff does things. If they ask you to sit somewhere, please do. If they don’t tell you to sit wherever you’d like, please do not.
It’s not rocket science, but there is some organizational science sprinkled in there. They might also not be telling you something that you don’t need to know. Just be patient, and wait to be seated.
24. Seating Yourself At A Dirty Table
If your server tells you to sit anywhere, they definitely don't mean "please become a barrier between me and the table full of dishes I need to take away". And why would you want to sit there anyway?
If the only table available is a mess, they won't try to sit you down before cleaning up. It just makes things harder. So if you must sit at a specific table, please ask if they can organize it for you before you get comfy.
25. Leaving Your Phone On Full Volume
In order to not disturb the other customers, please put your phone on vibrate or silent. You don’t have to put it away for good, but it’s common courtesy to be aware of your surroundings.
There are other people trying to enjoy their dining experience and they don’t need to hear your loud rock music or robotic announcer telling you that you have a call.
26. Blocking The Flow Of Traffic
Not only does this make serving you and fellow customers much, much more difficult, it can also be very hazardous to the people and servers around you. If someone trips and falls on your things, it’s going to be a big issue.
Not only that, you may be liable to pay for any damages caused. And no, they won’t be expected to pay for whatever of your stuff that breaks. Try to leave it in the car.
27. Letting Your Kids Out Of Sight
It doesn’t matter how much you trust your kids, this can also be a hazard to the other people in the building. As the parent of your children, you are responsible to look out for them.
Children don’t always understand what’s the right and wrong thing to do, and they can cause a lot of chaos in the restaurant. Moreover, you need to protect them. Please keep them by your side at all times.
28. Forgetting To Update Your Reservation
Things happen, we get it. That’s why it’s important for you to let the restaurant know when you’ll be making it so they can either reserve you another seat or give you a few extra minutes to make it there.
After all, they’re expecting you to make it a few minutes before, not on time or after. They may give you a few minutes grace by default, but they need to know what’s going on so they can help other customers as well.
29. Lying About Allergies
If you don’t like something, that’s okay. No one is expecting you to enjoy every single ingredient in the kitchen. That being said, it isn’t okay to lie about allergies just to avoid that thing.
The kitchen staff put in a lot of extra work to make sure that an allergen doesn’t come into contact with your food, and that can cause delays for both you and others as well as being a waste of time. You’re better off just telling the truth.
30. Leaving Behind A Huge Mess
You may think that it's the server's job to bus the table, so why should I bother to clean anything at all? Well the thing is sometimes you leave a mess behind that is just totally disgusting: napkins, spilled liquids, food particles, the works.
Sometimes it's nice to clean up a little bit after yourself. The staff will surely appreciate it and you won't feel like a total jerk face for leaving behind a mess equivalent to a Viking feast.
31. Smoking E-Cigarettes Or Vaping
First of all, most places deny smoking in any capacity at their restaurant. If they have a designated smoking area, you must go to that area. No exceptions.
Not only are you potentially putting someone with asthma at risk, but it’s also just plain rude. It doesn’t matter if you aren’t smoking a real cigarette, the rules are the same. If you must smoke, go somewhere else.
32. Letting Your Children Play Or Watch Loud Things
Like we said before, there are other people around that you need to be aware of. Failure to do so results in an otherwise fun day out being spoiled. Your child being a child is not an excuse to bother other people.
If you insist that your child needs some form of entertainment to keep themselves calm, then you may want to consider investing in a coloring book. It engages them in skill-building exercises all the while being completely silent. Then you can hang it on the fridge!
33. Trying To Play Off Your Lap Dog As A Service Animal
You can’t expect the staff to believe you when you tell them the dog in your purse is a service animal. Some restaurants will allow you to bring smaller dogs (or even sometimes big ones).
Call in advance if you’re planning on bringing your dog. You don’t want to waste anyone’s time arguing over the legality of your dog’s entry into the building. It’s also disrespectful to the people who really do have service dogs, especially if they are also there and your dog bothers them.
34. Taking Tableware From Another Table
If you’re missing something from your table, you should probably ask your waiter to help you out. Taking things from already set tables disorganizes everything and can be confusing and frustrating for the staff.
It also only delays the problem, as the next people to come in will probably have the same problem if no one notices. Only take from another table when instructed to do so.
35. Leaving A Bad Tip For Bad Food
It is by no means your server’s fault that the food is bad, for any reason. Someone has to work at that restaurant regardless of how good it is. It’s just their job, plain and simple.
Server’s tips are everything and you can’t blame them for not enjoying your food. If you have a problem you need to let them know, and they’ll be happy to help you out. So please don’t punish them for something out of their control.
36. Seasoning Your Food Before Tasting It
This one is just common sense. If you don’t taste your food before you season it, how are you supposed to know whether or not it actually needs to be seasoned? If you then try to send it back, well… that’s a problem.
Also, many restaurants and their chefs are quite skilled at putting the right amount of seasoning on their dishes. Odds are you don’t even need to add anything at all. Just make sure you test it out before actually putting the salt on.
37. Overstaying Your Welcome
It’s been a long night and you’ve had a delicious meal. The only thing left to do is pay the bill. But wait, you haven’t finished your conversation! This is something that can only be said in the restaurant that you already spent an hour or more at.
Just kidding. It’s probably time to move on and get back home. You can certainly finish the conversation in the car, or in the comfort of your living room. Other people would like to eat, too.
38. Further Overstaying Your Welcome
What’s that? You really need to stay and have that conversation anyway? Well, here’s the thing, the restaurant is about to close and the staff needs to clean up and go home.
Just because they are still in the shop after-hours does not mean you should be, too. And don’t say that as a customer you can’t be kicked out. They will probably call the local authorities. Be a dear and respect the designated times of the restaurant.
39. Not Reserving A Table For A Large Party
You seriously can’t expect to be seated without a reservation if you are a party of more than five. Heck, you might want to reserve a place for yourself no matter how many people are with you. The staff needs to know that you are coming so that they can guarantee you a spot in their restaurant.
They definitely want you to enjoy their service, don’t get it wrong when they turn you away. They simply don’t have the space for everybody and their mother.
40. Not Mentioning Your Broken Glass
Things happen. That seems to be a running theme going on here. It’s totally okay if you accidentally broke a glass. The restaurant has tons of extras and (almost always) won’t make you pay for it.
You can’t expect, however, for them to know that you swept it under the table over there. It’s irresponsible to allow a hazard such as that to go unnoticed and if you just let someone know, they’ll go ahead and grab you a knew cup as well as a broom and dustpan.